Hey, do you like Venus fly traps? Do you like making your eyes bleed? This painting gives you both of these things together like a caloric two-for-one Wendy’s special, and makes you hate yourself. It has promiscuous lips (What are they implying? Little minx). It’s got a hand that is stealing the classic Italian hand gesture (that isn’t your culture sweetie!). It’s got a foot (sometimes paintings need to be kink-shamed). Most importantly, it’s a plant and plants don’t have any of these things! Cabbage Patch Kids can have hands and mouths, but not this nightmare. I don’t make the rules on what’s a health code violation, I just follow them.