• New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
  • One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
  • Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
  • Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
  • Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
  • Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
  • 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier

The Near True News

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The Near True News is a work of satire, published by the students of New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois.  Nothing that appears here should be taken with even the smallest bit of seriousness.  If you think too hard about anything you read here, you’ve already made more effort than we did.

If you have any questions, queries, quips, compliments, comments, critiques, conundrums, calculations, confabulations, and/or thoughts, send us a message (click here!) or come visit us on Wednesdays after school in Room W320.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
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