• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident

About

The Near True News is a work of satire, published by the students of New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois.  Nothing that appears here should be taken with even the smallest bit of seriousness.  If you think too hard about anything you read here, you’ve already made more effort than we did.

If you have any questions, queries, quips, compliments, comments, critiques, conundrums, calculations, confabulations, and/or thoughts, send us a message (click here!) or come visit us on Wednesdays after school in Room W320.

Comments (0)

All The Near True News Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Activate Search
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
About