• “Devious Licks” peaks with students stealing any respect the school administrators had for them
  • Student feels more stressed after wasting time meditating to reduce stress
  • Administrator assigned to observe whether 85 minute periods are too long falls asleep during class lecture
  • New Trier improves diversity by rounding percentages
  • English class reading readings on how to write rereads to write right
  • Tornado Chaser finally catches up
  • How to save money on Melatonin by crying yourself to sleep instead

About

The Near True News is a work of satire, published by the students of New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois.  Nothing that appears here should be taken with even the smallest bit of seriousness.  If you think too hard about anything you read here, you’ve already made more effort than we did.

If you have any questions, queries, quips, compliments, comments, critiques, conundrums, calculations, confabulations, and/or thoughts you wish to share, please feel free to email us as soon as we figure out how to add an email link to this page.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
About