• Baby left on doorstep of child growth and development class
  • Students Discover “Low Busywork” Teacher of 3 Months Actually Cardboard Cutout
  • Celebrity Guest Disappoints Crowd of Yo-Yo Enthusiasts with Lame Cello Performance
  • Custodians Go Too Far: School Now Gone
  • Dislexea Tetsing in Nusre’s Ofice
  • Teacher ditches attendance policy meeting to make quick 7/11 run
  • Hungry Hungry Caterpillar added to sophomore curriculum as a great window into the rich culture of bugs

About

The Near True News is a work of satire, published by the students of New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois.  Nothing that appears here should be taken with even the smallest bit of seriousness.  If you think too hard about anything you read here, you’ve already made more effort than we did.

If you have any questions, queries, quips, compliments, comments, critiques, conundrums, calculations, confabulations, and/or thoughts, send us a message (click here!) or come visit us on Wednesdays after school in Room W320.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
About