• Baby left on doorstep of child growth and development class
  • Students Discover “Low Busywork” Teacher of 3 Months Actually Cardboard Cutout
  • Celebrity Guest Disappoints Crowd of Yo-Yo Enthusiasts with Lame Cello Performance
  • Custodians Go Too Far: School Now Gone
  • Dislexea Tetsing in Nusre’s Ofice
  • Teacher ditches attendance policy meeting to make quick 7/11 run
  • Hungry Hungry Caterpillar added to sophomore curriculum as a great window into the rich culture of bugs

2023-2024 Staff

Max P
Unpredictable and tootsie-roll

Max P

Max’s accolades include: winner of the 2019 Wriders Guild Award, winner of the Stanley Cup, The Regional Biannual Ping Pong Championship semifinalist, participant in second-grade Little League Baseball tournament (green team), fi...

Abby P
Writer, Gourmet heirloom couch potato, north suburban flaneur

Abby P

Abby is a professional procrastinator who can dodge any assignment thrown at her. She has recently become the coach of an Olympic goldfish training team which practices on the weekends in Bali. After graduating from the only univ...

Elizabeth C

Elizabeth C

Snarky and poorly-coordinated, Elizabeth enjoys intense bingo tournaments and less-than-optimal reality TV marathons.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier