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  • NT students receive grand total of one dollar after successful class action lawsuit against College Board.
  • When will it stop? Student records first 7.0 GPA, setting a new bar for everyone
  • AP Chemistry students “shocked and appalled” after learning of life outside of school.
  • Combating Congestion, New Trier Expands Lunchroom Stairway to 4-Lanes
  • Walmart Supercenter Opens in the Scrounge
  • “This meeting could have been a poem,” Quips Creative Writing Teacher
  • Declassified Helicopter Footage Reveals that Winnetka Campus has a Bald Spot

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

Summer Horoscopes
Summer Horoscopes
May 21, 2025

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will purchase a private aisle. Aisle 7, to be precise, in the Northfield Mariano’s. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Checkmate! You will get beaten...

Spring Horoscopes
Spring Horoscopes
March 5, 2025

  HOROSCOPES  ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will attempt to quit Block Blast cold turkey...and fail. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A sudden shock of energy will embolden...

Meet the Staff
Abby P
Abby P
Writer, Gourmet heirloom couch potato, north suburban flaneur

Abby is a professional procrastinator who can dodge any assignment thrown at her. She has recently become the coach of an Olympic goldfish training team which practices on the weekends in Bali. After graduating...