• Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
  • Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
  • Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
  • Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation
Horoscopes: Summer 2023
Horoscopes: Summer 2023
May 17, 2023

HOROSCOPES  ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you want to make friends, don’t be yourself. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You will investigate a math crime; things won't add up.  GEMINI...

Horoscopes: Spring 2023
Horoscopes: Spring 2023
April 5, 2023

HOROSCOPES  ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will fall in love with a IGSS alum who refuses to sign prenuptial documents due to their financial instability.   TAURUS...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier