• “Devious Licks” peaks with students stealing any respect the school administrators had for them
  • Student feels more stressed after wasting time meditating to reduce stress
  • Administrator assigned to observe whether 85 minute periods are too long falls asleep during class lecture
  • New Trier improves diversity by rounding percentages
  • English class reading readings on how to write rereads to write right
  • Tornado Chaser finally catches up
  • How to save money on Melatonin by crying yourself to sleep instead
New Trier North, East, South, West Wings to be demolished to accommodate student needs
New Trier North, East, South, West Wings to be demolished to accommodate student needs
Caleb Sim November 2, 2021

In response to student complaints, primarily concerning lack of parking and food options, the New Trier administration has announced plans to “make some tweaks” to the school facilities. “In accordance with student preference,...

New Trier Crime Report
New Trier Crime Report
November 2, 2021
Horoscopes: Fall 2021
Horoscopes: Fall 2021
Near True News Staff November 2, 2021

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Sometimes, courage in the face of extreme improbability of success is stupidity. Please, calm down.   TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Beware...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier