Greetings my fellow alpha males. As of today, it’s been 8 years since I last dropped some uncensored and unsolicited advice on you normies. The world around us has changed...

The Office of Dr. Sally Sogart, Minister of Campus Security and Internal Affairs, issued a twelve-page memorandum last Thursday, stating that: “[e]ffective immediately,...

Following a “resounding success” during a fire drill at New Trier High School, “a mere fifty percent” of all participating students have been officially reported as...

In the months after I—Don McMafun, Superintendent of New Trier High School—announced the special military operation to topple the totalitarian and anti-education municipalities...

Following this past month's raids on the Village of Winnetka, the acquisition of Loyola and its territories, and the seizure of the Indian Hill train station, New Trier has...

This past semester, scientists in New Trier’s Nurse’s Office have wrapped up a detailed study on student mental health and stress levels. The study comes in the wake of...

The power-lifting team’s new season was just getting started and they had a lot to look forward to. They had many opportunities to grow their younger athletes and watch...