Top 7 Graduation Walks

  1. Saunter: Stride confidently up to the stage to receive your fake diploma. Smile with your whitened, alabaster teeth. Pose for the camera. 
  2. Sashay: Levitate from your seat. Float up to the front. Use telekinesis to lure the diploma into your hand. 
  3. Vogue: You are fierce slay girlie pop off queen boots the house down. Serve. Eat. Leave.
  4. Somersault: Roll your way to the top. Like a boulder on a hill defying gravity. Nothing will get in your way. 
  5. Slump: Revel in shame. Deny your parents the pride of seeing you walk normally at graduation. 
  6. Tiptoe: Be quiet. Be discreet. Let no one hear you make a peep. Pluck your diploma from the principal’s hands and dissipate into thin air. 
  7. Gallop: Return to your horse-girl roots. Let your hair blow in the wind. Embrace your newfound freedom. It’s a fitting way to end your high school years.