• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident
Nicolle B, Co-Editor

Nicolle B, Co-Editor, wicked witch

Coven leader and reviled spinster, Nicolle is instantly recognizable by the dark shadow she casts in any room she walks into. When not cursing youthful protagonists or concocting hallucinogenic brews, she can be found babysitting gremlins, polishing her cauldron, or enchanting frogs (her role at the newspaper). Fun fact: Nicolle’s last name cannot be shared because it is actually an ancient Latin hex!

All content by Nicolle B, Co-Editor
Top 7 Graduation Walks

Top 7 Graduation Walks

Nicolle B, Co-Editor and Eli T, Co-Editor May 17, 2023

Saunter: Stride confidently up to the stage to receive your fake diploma. Smile with your whitened, alabaster teeth. Pose for the camera.  Sashay: Levitate from your seat. Float up to the front....

Fishin for Love with Bass Fishing Pickup Lines!

Fishin’ for Love with Bass Fishing Pickup Lines!

Nicolle B, Co-Editor and Eli T, Co-Editor February 15, 2023

Bass fishers are known for oozing romantic appeal, but they often elude even the highest quality flirtations. Luckily, the Near True News’ team of Love Editors have put together an accessible guide for...

Amidst Club Fair Antics, The Near True News Remains True

Amidst Club Fair Antics, The Near True News Remains True

Nicolle B, Co-Editor and Eli T, Co-Editor September 12, 2022

As the beginning of school rolls into full swing, lonely freshmen and middle children aren’t the only ones desperate for attention. New Trier’s clubs – all six hundred and seventy nine of them –...

Goodbye, Safe Spaces; Hello, Danger Zones

Goodbye, Safe Spaces; Hello, Danger Zones

Nicolle B, Said A, and Annie v January 25, 2022

As part of its continuous efforts to foster solidarity and flexibility among its student body, New Trier has announced its commitment to creating “Danger Zones” in classrooms and adviseries.  “Safe...

10 things to do during an 85-minute free period

10 things to do during an 85-minute free period

Nicolle Bokiess November 2, 2021

Let's face it: Sometimes your teacher doesn't plan enough to fill an 85-minute block.  But we've got you covered!  Try some of these techniques next time you're stuck with too much time on your hands. ...

Top New Trier Alumni Career Paths

Top New Trier Alumni Career Paths

Nicolle Bokiess and Riley Kramer November 2, 2021

As a part of its outreach to New Trier students and families, the Alumni Alliance Center has polled former Trevians from the last 25 graduating classes to determine the most popular career paths. Below...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Nicolle B, Co-Editor