• School bell replaced with Bavarian yodeler
  • Economic inflation sadly not factoring into GPA inflation
  • New Trier cuts costs by crowdsourcing student knowledge instead of using teachers
  • APUSH students demand change to Americentric curriculum
  • Noun adverbally verbs whilst verbing a noun.
  • Near True News social media consultant faces backlash over TikTok thirst trap on official account
  • New Trier lowers stress by no longer asking about it
Nicolle B, Co-Editor

Nicolle B, Co-Editor, wicked witch

Coven leader and reviled spinster, Nicolle is instantly recognizable by the dark shadow she casts in any room she walks into. When not cursing youthful protagonists or concocting hallucinogenic brews, she can be found babysitting gremlins, polishing her cauldron, or enchanting frogs (her role at the newspaper). Fun fact: Nicolle’s last name cannot be shared because it is actually an ancient Latin hex!

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Nicolle B, Co-Editor