• Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
  • Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
  • Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
  • Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation
Said A

Said A, Computer key presser, runner when he has to be

To be unique, Said enjoys short sprints at the park instead of long walks on the beach. Said spends his free time sneaking into monkey exhibits at zoos overnight to find out if a monkey truly can write a Shakespearean play on a typewriter if it has enough time. Said also recreationally takes an excessive amount of slips of paper from paper ads put on the poles of public signs and traffic lights.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Said A