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  • Attendance office sees record number of sign in/sign outs on Senior Skip Day
  • Local scribes struggle to maintain business throughout Spring Break
  • New Trier Social Worker Assigns Homework
  • Midnight train’s journey abruptly stops after hitting streetlights, people
  • Safe and Sound: Winnetka Campus Safely Evacuated from Dangerous Popcorn Machine
  • Gambling Club Runs out of Funding, takes out loans from DECA
  • Local students shine at Turnabout, stun crowds with The Metamorphosis theme

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

Spring Horoscopes
Spring Horoscopes
March 5, 2025

  HOROSCOPES  ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will attempt to quit Block Blast cold turkey...and fail. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A sudden shock of energy will embolden...

Winter Horoscopes
Winter Horoscopes
Near True News Staff December 11, 2024

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In a cruel twist of fate, Trevius Maximus will find out that you never voted in the ABC7 Friday Flyover poll, resulting in ridicule and mockery.. TAURUS...

Meet the Staff
Abby P
Abby P
Writer, Gourmet heirloom couch potato, north suburban flaneur

Abby is a professional procrastinator who can dodge any assignment thrown at her. She has recently become the coach of an Olympic goldfish training team which practices on the weekends in Bali. After graduating...