Articles – The Near True News

Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation

New Trier’s New “Negative Tolerance” Policy Encourages Stupid Nonsense

Max P
May 17, 2023

Deep Dive into History!

Abby P
May 17, 2023

Power, Politics, and Punny Headlines: The Race for Club Presidencies

Adam P
April 5, 2023

New Trier Introduces River Running Through Winnetka Campus to Encourage Trade

Max P
April 5, 2023

Lounging in Luxury

Eli T, Co-Editor and Abby P
March 22, 2023

Pooping Team Cracks Open Explosive Suit Against New Trier Stool: “We can’t be made #2!”

Max P
March 22, 2023

As New Trier Adopts “No Homework” Policy, Students Complain About Too Much Freetime

Max P
February 15, 2023

Google Translate Takes Aim at Spanish Teachers

Abby P
February 15, 2023

New Trier Administration Creates a $15 Million “Inaction Plan”

Max P
February 15, 2023

Letter to the Editor: The Joys of Dropping Out

Abby P.
November 30, 2022

Zealous School Spiriters found Trevious Maximous Fanclub

Anwyn L
November 30, 2022

Senior Quotes for You!

Max P
November 30, 2022

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