• The Killers concert NOT what it seems. Kindly, be warned.
  • Sumerian student pillages New Trier’s grain and lentil supply
  • New Trier Steals Academic Integrity Policy from Loyola
  • Automotive Engineering creates minivan and I created an even mini-er van
  • IGSS Kids Hacky Sack with Grenade
Eli T, Co-Editor

Eli T, Co-Editor, fish food taste tester, occasional writer

Eli graduated from the Omega One school of Fish Flakes in 1843 with a speciality in tropical freshwater food. He's won the "most medium sized pumpkin" competition at the Kentucky state fair in 1903. Fun fact: he's an immortal being who can only be killed with a goose feather stabbed through his eyeball. In his spare time Eli enjoys gutting other people's pet voles with a kitchen knife, and is developing a magic cocktail that attracts every single post-it note in the universe to your left ring finger.

All content by Eli T, Co-Editor
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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Eli T, Co-Editor