• School Therapist says, “Be better.”
  • New Trier Students Named "Most Humble" by Same New Trier Students
  • Students question origins of baby oil after learning about olive presses
  • State government installs more “no gun” stickers to protect students
  • Near Troo Noows Bans Speelchek
Ben S

Ben S, Walking Contradiction, wins arguments by yelling the loudest

Ben doesn’t think that being random makes things funny, but he does that anyway because actual humor is hard and memes are hip now. He is a major political advocate, but he changes where on the spectrum he lies every day. Ben doesn’t like being told he’s an old man in a teenage body, but can’t help that things were better back in his day. The only things he loves more than New Trier is the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, drinking lemon juice, and having a movie he wanted to watch spoiled for him. One day, Ben hopes to be the reason this paper is forced to shut down.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Ben S