How to Diagnose Covid at Home


COVID-19 has now been around for almost two years and people still don’t seem to understand what it is. In this list we would like to address Covid symptoms and causes, so everyday Americans can skip the hassle of seeing a doctor or getting tested. Though we all know vaccines and masking “work,” you still need a valid reason to not go to school.


  1. Lack of taste (Having a “Live, Laugh, Love” poster, or liking Riverdale)
  2. Headache (Caution: May be homework or sibling induced.)
  3. Loss of smell (Are you wearing Axe body spray right now? Be honest.)
  4. Nausea or Vomiting (Avoid pictures of Jake Paul)
  5. Shortness of breath (Note: Also caused by….stairs.)
  6. Runny nose (Except if you’re a crier.)


  1. Having a social life. Now you don’t have to feel bad about missing out on parties!
  2. Being an up-and-coming chemist. Homemade vaccines rarely work!
  3. Not wearing a mask. 
  4. Being a Gemini. Double the faces, double the masks.
  5. Taking Ivermectin.  It worked for the donkeys!
  6. Being aligned with the wrong political party. (You know who you are.)