Top 10 Dangers at New Trier

Because safety is our middle name! (Our dad lost a bet in college.)

  1. Bees
  2. Running on the third floor balconies in the new building after they wax the floors and falling a la Emperor Palpatine
  3. Hostage situations due to teachers demanding upgraded coffeemakers 
  4. Dissected in an AP biology mix-up
  5. Stress-induced heart attacks from the pressure of showing up to Early Bird yoga
  6. Dividing by zero
  7. Hit in the neck by robotics club drone
  8. Hyper-realistic baking soda volcano mishap
  9. Pepper sprayed during FBI raid of Consumer Ed 
  10. English teacher gets too invested in a reenactment of 127 Hours