Lounging in Luxury

March 22, 2023


After New Trier’s recent renovations, efforts have been made to reduce anxiety by using versatile seating. This is supposedly conducive for meeting in groups and is meant to be comfortable, yet sleek. In reality, these colorful squishy circles and strangely shaped, two-tiered benches are difficult to put together. They may look relaxed, but the students who occupy them are certainly not. Our finest furniture connoisseurs have put together a list of the 5 best ways to make use of the Jetsons-esque seating.

The Gumdrops


If you’re sleepy, push four small semi circles together, and try to keep your butt from slowly falling into the center. You won’t get any rest, but your futile attempts are sure to keep you awake.

The StairMaster

The StairMaster

Work on your core strength by sitting on the top tier of the staircase bench and perch precariously on a cushioned ledge far too narrow for comfortable sitting. Compete with your friends to see who can keep their balance closest to the edge.

The Chairopractor

The Chairopractor

Get a good back stretch by wrapping your body around the circular benches. Be sure to moan as loud as you can so everyone around you knows what a good stretch you’re getting.

The Stationary Rollercoaster


Sit at one of the high tables so you can put your backpack on the floor (there are no extra chairs). Now every time you need to get something, you can tip your chair backwards as far as you possibly can to grab your pencil case. That scrumptious rush of stomach-turning adrenaline just before falling on your back almost makes the banality of your school day worth enduring.

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