2019 Field Trip Report

Episode VI: Return of the Shuttle Bus


Remote learning has nothing on the desire of students to get excursion cards signed! Unfortunately, the Cook County Department of Health disagreed, so here is our field trip report for 2019.

Spanish- Students spent the first semester translating the Spanish language instructions for a time machine. On the next full moon, they zapped back to the Spanish Inquisition. Upon realizing inquisitions are really, really violent, they left to get churros.

French- Students walked around the Canadian border, wearing berets and taunting moose, until Mounties politely asked them to go home. 

German- Students kidnapped 5 first graders from local elementary schools and re-enacted Hansel and Gretel at Harmes Woods, shouting all dialogue in a uniquely angry and obscure German dialect. Most of the children are fine. One of them is very not.

Mandarin- Year One students at the Northfield campus took a trip to the Winnetka wood shop and forged their own swords, which was exceedingly difficult, since wood tends to catch fire when placed in a forge. They then attacked the Mulan production studios for poor cultural representation and getting rid of Mushu. They are currently awaiting trial.

Hebrew- Students planned a trip to Israel, but wanting to avoid the crowds at the touristy sights, they sought out the bush where Moses saw God. Unfortunately, they forgot to account for the bush’s previous state of being on fire, so they resorted to collecting the remaining charred pine cones which they are currently trying to sell on Etsy. 

Japanese- Awaiting a very exciting cultural experience, classes started off a trip to Japan with eating sushi at O’Hare. They spent one 36-hour plane ride and three days in a hotel puking their guts out.

Latin- After borrowing a time machine from some very generous Spanish students, Latin students went to 600 BCE, when Latin was actually useful, but after realizing they were actually in Carthaginian Spain, it seemed too hard to walk all the way to Rome, so they just came back. Side note: they are still looking for a person to play Caesar in a very realistic play taking place on March 15.

Creative Cuisine- The school set budget limits on the culinary arts department, so, as creative as their name, a group of overachieving freshmen travelled to Centennial pool and siphoned off water to make their spaghetti. FEMA declares that while the site itself remains under a Level 1 Hazmat alert, long term effects to surrounding communities will most likely be minimal.

Topics in the Middle East- Every student drew the names of a Middle Eastern country and a partner out of a fishbowl. Students flew to their respective countries and engaged in a challenge: the first student to make their country declare war on their partner’s country won. 

AP Political Science and Government- Students jumped on the fault line separating California from the rest of the continent with pogo sticks until the state broke off and was set adrift into the Pacific Ocean. They are currently ruling the new land as an exercise in government. Their teacher says that, while she left her grade book in Oregon and requests it be mailed to her, they’re earning about a C+/B-.

Forensic Science– Students followed police officers around until an “interesting” crime was reported, then did their best to interfere with the investigation, like true forensic specialists.  They say a string of armed robberies will be solved but it may have to wait until after Tuesday’s quiz, because those sorts of scenarios will really fit better into the next unit. 

Dance 1- The real journey of taking dance is learning to avoid traditional KW classes, with strategies including “I refuse to play sports”, “I have PMS”, “I would rather be shoved into an active volcano than dance in front of people, but at least there won’t be boys during swimming”, and “I’m an actual dancer so I will work on my développé in the corner. You shall hate me.”