Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation
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The Near True News
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
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New Trier’s New “Negative Tolerance” Policy Encourages Stupid Nonsense
Max P
May 17, 2023
Deep Dive into History!
Abby P
May 17, 2023
Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum
Caleb S
and
Shirley X
May 24, 2022
New NT Game Reserve Causes Chaos
Abby P
May 17, 2022
New club “rebels against the reds”
Ben S
November 2, 2021
New Trier Crime Report
Annie von Dohlen
and
Eli Trokenheim
November 2, 2021
Eek, a boy! New gender-segregation programs announced
Eli Trokenheim
and
Annie von Dohlen
November 2, 2021
2019 Field Trip Report
Eli Trokenheim
and
Annie von Dohlen
March 5, 2021
Hot New Products!
Caleb Sim
and
Eli Trokenheim
March 5, 2021
Freshmen: The Hunt for Untold Riches Calls On You!
Annie von Dohlen
March 5, 2021
Freshman English’s Big Fat Greek Bloodbath
Eli Trokenheim
March 5, 2021
New Drop Off Policy Drives Parents Bonkers
Maggie von Dohlen
November 10, 2020
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