• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident

Maggie VD, Editor Emeritus

Hi! My name is Maggie. I am the editor-in-chief of the Near True News this year. I'm a senior and will be passing the torch to someone else next year, so I'll do what I can to bring the club to the ground this year. Don't touch my horoscopes!

All content by Maggie von Dohlen
Horoscopes: Spring 2021

Horoscopes: Spring 2021

Maggie von Dohlen, Editor June 1, 2021

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will wake up in a cold sweat one night, realizing that you forgot to submit the bibliography for your Junior Theme.   TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A kitchen fire...



Maggie von Dohlen and Sofia Russick March 5, 2021

ARIES (March 21-April 19): When your hamster becomes rabid and attempts to bite you, you’ll realize your life has become Cujo 2: Snuggly But Deadly. It's a catchy title,  but you'll end becoming a mass...

Restaurant reviews!

Restaurant reviews!

Adam Ruzumna and Maggie von Dohlen November 20, 2020

This issue, our team decided to share our culinary expertise with the rest of the student body by highlighting THE chic restaurants of the North Shore. Here’s our list: “The New and Improved Chipotle”––...

New Drop Off Policy Drives Parents Bonkers

New Drop Off Policy Drives Parents Bonkers

Maggie von Dohlen November 10, 2020

As the school year progresses, so does the length of the drop off line on Winnetka Avenue before school. Students have taken to getting out of their parent’s Range Rover two blocks early so they can...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Maggie von Dohlen