• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident
All content by Caleb S
Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Caleb S and Shirley X May 24, 2022

Earlier this week, District Head of State Donovan McMaphin announced the implementation of a revamped Kinetic Wellness curriculum. “The new Kinetic Wellness will not only offer improved opportunities...

When Math Gets Irrational: An Exposé on Mathepolitik

When Math Gets Irrational: An Exposé on Mathepolitik

Caleb S January 25, 2022

Most students at New Trier imagine their math teachers as rather mild-mannered and pleasant individuals who enjoy puns a little too much. However, the darker truth is that a sharp political divide permeates...

Load More Stories
Activate Search
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Caleb S