“Recently I’ve been wearing women’s clothes. I feel like this is the best way to promote women subtly. Some of my favorite articles of women’s clothing to wear are skirts and dresses. They make...

Following the end of first semester, participants in AP Physics C have since gone on a class excursion to the Dwayne T.R. Johnson observatory in New Mexico, and have returned with reports of a meteor’s...

With the last brick of the new gym placed, New Trier officials have finally released documents regarding the allocations of funding for the project. To the untrained eye, this budget may seem unremarkable,...

Beginning this week, New Trier will be installing a new “Negative Tolerance” policy, effectively penalizing students for any positive behavior regarding the school’s typical status quo. Under this...

In an effort to boost the economy of its already affluent community, New Trier High School has announced plans to install a river in the Winnetka campus. The river will reportedly be fed by water diverted...

Causing a stink in the community, the New Trier Pooping Team has slammed popular school sports account New Trier Stool with a new copyright lawsuit. The reason? The word "stool.”  The lawsuit alleges...

Now that we have made it through another Valentine’s Day we know that many of you are regretting your romantic choices. We at the Near True News are here to help. If I could rearrange the alphabet,...

In a stunning move, the New Trier Board of Education voted unanimously to adopt a "no homework" policy, much to the outrage of students. The policy, which would go into effect immediately, is designed...

To students’ surprise, the leaders of New Trier have announced a new $15 million plan to not help in any way whatsoever. The plan, which has been dubbed the “Inaction Plan,” is being touted as the...

Senior quotes were due last month, which means that this year's juniors have less than a year to brainstorm a list of creative quips to be emblazoned beneath their eternal portraits. The stress of this...

The New Trier Pooping Team came out victorious in the regional pooping championship, and is now preparing for state. “I can already smell victory,” says Bo Wells, who has been head pooping coach for...

Squirrel Torture Kit Does the long New Trier block schedule make you want to take your anger out on a small, fluffy animal? Of course it does! This action-packed after-school activity will knock your...