Pooping Team Cracks Open Explosive Suit Against New Trier Stool: “We can’t be made #2!”


Causing a stink in the community, the New Trier Pooping Team has slammed popular school sports account New Trier Stool with a new copyright lawsuit. The reason? The word “stool.” 

The lawsuit alleges that New Trier Stool has been deliberately stealing their branding with their use of the word “stool” and is seeking an injunction to have the account’s name changed. Team captain Johnny Flush has made his anger clear: “This whole predicament has been causing the team undue emotional distress and is negatively impacting their ability to compete; we are too uptight.” 

The lawsuit, which was filed in the Circuit Court of Cook County earlier this week, seeks damages in excess of $1 million and a court order requiring New Trier Stool to change its name. In a stern statement scrawled in brown ink on a toilet paper roll, Flush has mentioned the possible liquidation of the Stool account’s assets in entirety. “Using the word ‘Stool’ in an unrelated manner is abhorrent and disgusting, and should in no way be tolerated. I call for the discontinuation of the ‘New Trier Stool’ account in toto, as well as an assimilation of their assets” 

The Pooping Team’s contentious and dutiful approach comes as no surprise to those familiar with their history. The team has a track record of getting into altercations with others, often leaving a trail of emotional distress, bodily fluids, and shattered relationships in their wake. Just earlier this year, the Pooping Team has raised concerns over the use of the term “restroom,” citing the word “rest” as being incongruent with their vigorous bathroom activity. 

It seems that their latest lawsuit against New Trier Stool is just another chapter in the Pooping Team’s ongoing saga of power struggles and dominance, which has been roiled by controversy. While some may find their behavior concerning, others argue that it’s just on par for a team with such a fierce competitive drive. Regardless of one’s opinion on the matter, it’s clear that the Pooping Team’s efforts have caused a stir in the bowels of those both on and off the field. 

Of course, many people have voiced their concerns on the lawsuit over social media. Some have suggested that the team eliminate their team captain, as well as renaming themselves to the “New Trier Fecal Fiends” to avoid any further conflicts. Others have proposed that the team redirect their energy towards improving their performance on the throne. One Twitter user wrote: “If the Pooping Team were this crappy in the championship, they might actually win it for once! #ntpoopingteam #superbowl” 

Despite the rumpus caused by the lawsuit, the Pooping Team remains steadfast in its belief that they are entitled to compensation for the emotional distress caused by New Trier Stool. “We’re not trying to be funny or make light of the situation,” the team’s coach stated. “This is a serious issue that has affected our team’s performance and wellbeing. We hope that the court will take our concerns seriously and rule in our favor.”