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  • NT students receive grand total of one dollar after successful class action lawsuit against College Board.
  • When will it stop? Student records first 7.0 GPA, setting a new bar for everyone
  • AP Chemistry students “shocked and appalled” after learning of life outside of school.
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  • “This meeting could have been a poem,” Quips Creative Writing Teacher
  • Declassified Helicopter Footage Reveals that Winnetka Campus has a Bald Spot

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

Shirley X

Shirley X, girlbossin wasp, the shirest of the shropshires

Shirley is very irresponsible; she can be found at any given moment running away from her problems or sleeping. On occasion when she is not doing either, she draws what some claim to be “grotesque Pinocchios” in addition to indulging in petty crime. Shirley loves eating fingers, breaking rosin, and photoshopping dubious miscellany.

All content by Shirley