• New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
  • One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
  • Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
  • Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
  • Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
  • Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
  • 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
Shirley X

Shirley X, girlbossin wasp, the shirest of the shropshires

Shirley is very irresponsible; she can be found at any given moment running away from her problems or sleeping. On occasion when she is not doing either, she draws what some claim to be “grotesque Pinocchios” in addition to indulging in petty crime. Shirley loves eating fingers, breaking rosin, and photoshopping dubious miscellany.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Shirley