Get ready for the annual Sacrificial Games®! Each year, thousands of students participate in this exciting competition to see how much time they can sacrifice for their academic and extracurricular activities. 

Basic sacrifices—such as giving up lunch periods and social lives—are still required of all entrants. Any momentary happiness or satisfaction experienced will result in a five point deduction from the participant’s total score. Additionally, if any participant accumulates more than four total hours of free time within the duration of the contest, that worthless, wimpy coward will be immediately disqualified from the competition. Fortunately, performance enhancing drugs are highly encouraged!

In the past, students have also discovered new, innovative, and ingenious ways to meet and exceed expectations. Last year, champion Matilda Young successfully sold her soul to Satan for an A on her Frankenstein essay. 

This year’s winner will receive the grand prize of a perfect 5.33 GPA, a fully covered hospital visit (minus copay), and a $15 gift card to Panera?

To participate, students must sign a waiver releasing New Trier Township High School from any compensatory responsibilities for injuries such as loss of blood, limbs, gall bladders, or chunks of aorta, as well as death. To protect the safety and well-being of the student body, our administration will place limits on certain caffeinated beverages. Five years ago, a student consumed ten Monster energy drinks in three hours, and now, they can be found in the back corner of the nurse’s office, cursing at the structural beam.

Signup starts in a week! We hope all students will participate in order to best fulfill our school mission: to commit minds to inquiry, hearts to compassion, and lives to the service of humanity.