Hey Trevians, are you still not able to find a club here at New Trier High School, even though this school probably has over a billion to choose from? Well, I am here with the top ten new clubs!
I Don’t Own Anything but Sweats Club – Do you find yourself being cold a lot? Try wearing sweatpants… Or are you feeling the need to be dressier? Try a Trevian sweatshirt. Are you feeling a little too warm? Well then, cut the sleeves off your sweatshirt. Come join your fellow friends to increase your sassy wardrobe style with sweats.
TikTok Slang Club – Do you need a vibe check? You got a problem with a situationship? Interested in a glow up?… Brush up on your rizz, learn how to slay, and no longer be cheugy. Come get your slang on! It will be a bussin’ time!
I Love “Coffee” Club – For those of you always going to the KW cafe to get a double whipped, sprinkle delight cake drink, an iced sugar cookie latte with four pumps of caramel drizzle or a venti black coffee with four sugar cubes, whipped cream, and a cinnamon stick – than come join fellow Trevians who also love“coffee.”
Paper Airplane Club – If you want to be environmentally friendly and use all your “lost” papers to construct unique flying apparatuses to launch off the various balconies at teachers and fellow students.
I Want to Go Viral Club – If you have been inspired to put glue in your hair, stuff bags of marshmallows in your mouth, jump out of a moving car, stick random objects up your nose, or any other ridiculous ideas for your 5 minutes of fame …meet after school daily at the Nurse’s office to tend to your injuries with others.
It’s All about Me Club – Whether you love talking about yourself, what you ate for dinner, what you ate for lunch, how many pimples you popped, how many people you hate, how many people love you, or how many problems you have, or how many problems you don’t have, join others who also really don’t care what you have to say
I’m the Smartest Club – Join others who strive to use the phrases such as, “I’m in an AP class,” “I have to get home for my AP homework,” “I can’t go out because of my AP class,” “I didn’t sleep well because I have an AP class,” or “my shoes don’t match my outfit because I am in an AP class.”
Doomscrolling Club – If your idea of spending time with others involves sitting on uncomfortable chairs, not talking, and essentially not moving for hours on end, scrolling endlessly through your phone hoping to unlock the mysteries of life then this is the club for you.
I Have a lot of Waterbottles Club – Do any of these ring a bell? Yeti, Camelback, Owala, Hydro Flask, Stanley, HydroJug, BrüMate, Rubyflask, or Lululemon. Might you have all of them? Not to mention the nineteen ounce, forty-eight ounce, and even the gallon flask size? Could they all be in your locker waiting to be the perfect accessory for your next outfit? Come share your love for water bottles?
Detention Overachiever Club – Are you finding yourself stuck in detention everyday? Does the secretary at the advisor chair know you by name? Come to the detention overachiever club, where you can share your detention-maximizing tricks with other students!
Happy Clubbing!
