Annie von Dohlen and Eli Trokenheim – The Near True News

New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier

All content by Annie von Dohlen and Eli Trokenheim

The Year’s Best Yearbook Quotes

Annie von Dohlen and Eli Trokenheim • March 5, 2021

Every year, most senior quotes are mediocre at best, but a select few are chosen as perfectly representative of the student body. These are our 2021 selections. "a² + b² = a C in geometry." - Anonymous ...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

Annie von Dohlen and Eli Trokenheim