• School bell replaced with Bavarian yodeler
  • Economic inflation sadly not factoring into GPA inflation
  • New Trier cuts costs by crowdsourcing student knowledge instead of using teachers
  • APUSH students demand change to Americentric curriculum
  • Noun adverbally verbs whilst verbing a noun.
  • Near True News social media consultant faces backlash over TikTok thirst trap on official account
  • New Trier lowers stress by no longer asking about it

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May 26, 2016
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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Brendan Traverso