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  • New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
  • One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
  • Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
  • Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
  • Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
  • Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
  • 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
All content by Caleb S
Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Caleb S and Shirley X May 24, 2022

Earlier this week, District Head of State Donovan McMaphin announced the implementation of a revamped Kinetic Wellness curriculum. “The new Kinetic Wellness will not only offer improved opportunities...

When Math Gets Irrational: An Exposé on Mathepolitik

When Math Gets Irrational: An Exposé on Mathepolitik

Caleb S January 25, 2022

Most students at New Trier imagine their math teachers as rather mild-mannered and pleasant individuals who enjoy puns a little too much. However, the darker truth is that a sharp political divide permeates...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Caleb S