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  • New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
  • One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
  • Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
  • Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
  • Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
  • Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
  • 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
Elizabeth C

Elizabeth C

Snarky and poorly-coordinated, Elizabeth enjoys intense bingo tournaments and less-than-optimal reality TV marathons.

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10 Best Senior Projects!

10 Best Senior Projects!

Elizabeth C March 22, 2023

Are you tired of doing work? Is that senioritis sinking in? Then look no further than the Senior Project! Just pick an activity you want to do instead of school work, slap it on a trifold, and you’re...

10 Hottest Couples at NT!

10 Hottest Couples at NT!

Avery S and Elizabeth C February 15, 2023

Principal Dawn McMaffin and his collectible troll figurines The unaffectionate couple at the bottom of the staircase Trevius Maximus and Willie Wildkit Gates the Gym and Mylie...

10 Hottest New Trier Couples

10 Hottest New Trier Couples

Avery S and Elizabeth C April 5, 2022

The couple at the bottom of staircase that shows no affection Trevius Maximus and Willie the Wildkit Principle Don McC’maffin and his troll collection Roo Roo the school Roomba and Sally...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Elizabeth C