• New Trier Aims to Preserve History with Time Capsule Filled to the Brim with Liquid Nitrogen, Body Parts
  • One Stop Trev Shop Hides 5 Golden Tickets No One Will Look For
  • Teacher Imagines Students Laughing, Applauding at Joke Made on Multiple Choice Quiz
  • Student has yet to close parenthesis opened long ago, rendering past years an afterthought
  • Teachers Will No Longer Accept Bribes
  • Four-year KW requirement prevents young genius from graduating early
  • 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier

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Sports Preview: Chicago Cubs

Brendan Traverso • May 26, 2016

Strengths: Fans will be able to attend home games without fear of getting stabbed 85% of players have yet to try Chicago deli sandwiches named after them Just competitive enough to ward off...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Brendan Traverso