• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident

Caitlin CS, Writer Emeritus

All content by Caitlin Carr-Smith
Melted Legos

The Art Here Sucks

Caitlin Carr-Smith March 26, 2020

I know this is supposed to be a satirical newspaper, and this article’s message should be elegantly masked in witty satire and prose. It’s what I’m not getting paid for, after all. But frankly, the...

School Takes New Measures to Deal With Stress

School Takes New Measures to Deal With Stress

Caitlin Carr-Smith and Adam Ruzumna March 26, 2020
"Every time I see a sweaty student sprinting from the basement to the fourth floor, I think, ‘that’s real progress.’"
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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Caitlin Carr-Smith