New Trier will rebrand to Ewnay Riertay in remembrance of those lost to the Swine Flu
As part of a massive marketing deal with Smuckers, teachers will have to advertise jelly in between passing periods
Scientists determine that infinite monkeys with typewriters could not write New Trier’s course catalog if given eternity
New Trier reveals 2028 plans to begin construction of a Seville campus to combat falling AP Spanish grades
New Trier makes revolutionary move cracking down on student vaping, adds cameras to every bathroom stall
New Trier announces “Zero Senioritis Policy”; implements mandatory testing, lockdowns, and quarantining for afflicted E-Building classrooms.
New Trier sees quarter zips decline as wearing a top hat and tux is the new craze