Beginning this week, New Trier will be installing a new “Negative Tolerance” policy, effectively penalizing students for any positive behavior regarding the school’s typical status quo. Under this new policy, students will be encouraged to engage in heated debates, arguments, and perhaps even fisticuffs, all in the name of negative tolerance. The administration believes that by allowing an open forum for hate speech, discrimination, and rampant misdemeanors, they will create a stronger community, bound together by a shared sense of mutual animosity.

To facilitate this hate, the school encourages students to participate within the school-funded “danger zones”, equipped with padded walls, boxing gloves, and an extensive selection of insults printed on laminated cards. In class, lackadaisical students who fail to turn their work in on time will be rewarded with a pat on the back and a “job well done!” from teachers.

Critics of the policy argue that it may perpetuate divisions and promote hostility among students. Some parents worry that instead of preparing students for the real world, the school is merely creating a breeding ground for future internet trolls, reality TV stars, or even politicians. Some parents have called the new policy “a derogation from the school’s educational substance” and “a poor attempt at accelerationism”.

Following this commotion, we decided to speak with Principal Dawn McMuffin on the issue. “I believe drastically enhancing the New Trier social process will ultimately contribute to the school in a positive manner,” she says. “it definitely does not have any parallels to accelerationism at all.” Additionally, the changing of the school’s motto to “Divided We Stand” aims to reflect the core principles of New Trier, with Principal McMuffin emphasizing that the policy is not discriminatory since it allows everyone, regardless of their background, to express their deep-seated prejudices and biases.

Only time will tell whether New Trier’s “Negative Tolerance” policy will revolutionize education or simply fuel more anger and division. Either way, this stinks.