Top 7 Graduation Walks
- Saunter: Stride confidently up to the stage to receive your fake diploma. Smile with your whitened, alabaster teeth. Pose for the camera.
- Sashay: Levitate from your seat. Float up to the front. Use telekinesis to lure the diploma into your hand.
- Vogue: You are fierce slay girlie pop off queen boots the house down. Serve. Eat. Leave.
- Somersault: Roll your way to the top. Like a boulder on a hill defying gravity. Nothing will get in your way.
- Slump: Revel in shame. Deny your parents the pride of seeing you walk normally at graduation.
- Tiptoe: Be quiet. Be discreet. Let no one hear you make a peep. Pluck your diploma from the principal’s hands and dissipate into thin air.
- Gallop: Return to your horse-girl roots. Let your hair blow in the wind. Embrace your newfound freedom. It’s a fitting way to end your high school years.
About the Contributors
Nicolle B, Co-Editor, wicked witch
Coven leader and reviled spinster, Nicolle is instantly recognizable by the dark shadow she casts in any room she walks into. When not cursing youthful...
Eli T, Co-Editor, fish food taste tester, occasional writer
Eli graduated from the Omega One school of Fish Flakes in 1843 with a speciality in tropical freshwater food. He's won the "most medium sized pumpkin"...
