The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

What’s your favorite high school memory?

Pullquote Photo

Falling in love with myself.”

— Raquelle Narcícíst, Mayor’s Mistress

Pullquote Photo

Hiding in the sewers to see if I can make friends.”

— Joe Malonley, Makeup Artist

Pullquote Photo

Using dried ketchup to hold my page in the Odyssey.”

— Barbra Roberts, Bookmark Seller

Pullquote Photo

Eating my feelings in a McDonald’s dumpster.”

— Man Mustang, Guy Ferrari’s heir.

The Near True News • Copyright 2021 • FLEX WordPress Theme by SNOLog in