• School Therapist says, “Be better.”
  • New Trier Students Named "Most Humble" by Same New Trier Students
  • Students question origins of baby oil after learning about olive presses
  • State government installs more “no gun” stickers to protect students
  • Near Troo Noows Bans Speelchek
Avery S

Avery S, Professional obsessor and critic of amateur (i.e. all) fanfiction

Avery is not the first mutant to attend New Trier, but she is the first one who gets nauseous at the sight of chalkboards. In her free time she attempts to be Spider-Man while trying to overcome her fear of spiders. She is famous for regretting taking summer school, eating anything with curry, and giving unsolicited movie opinions to strangers. Her special skills include ruining pasta and having no plans on a Friday night. Avery’s dream is to wake up in a nursing home with no relatives. Please note to not discuss any topics with her as she will get very aggressive in her opinions.

All content by Avery Sturm
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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Avery Sturm