The latest Youth Risk Behavior Survey data has identified choosing Halloween costumes as the riskiest decision a New Trier student faces each year. A well-executed Halloween costume has the power to take anyone from a total loser to a weird-looking loser for 3 hours on an October evening! The Near True News’ finest fashion minds have created a list of costume ideas to help you discern what’s trendy, basic, hot, and criminally liable. Happy trick or treating!

• Trevius Maximus: Prepare to be sued for copyright infringement by the Student Activities Department 
• Fishing pole: It’s the only way you can make the Bass Fishing Team 
• Current US President: Whoever you think it is
• Sexy acorn: You could get sponsored by College Board
• Sheet of homework: Get eaten by a dog at the end of the night
• Privileged child of suburbia: Go as you are
• The New Trier WiFi router: Embody the single greatest failure of the school 
• The giant skeleton in the scrounge: Your parents would say it’s too revealing
• Pumpkin: Only if you are a sad basic 5-year-old 
• Your favorite school administrator: Cheaper than buying a clown costume