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  • Attendance office sees record number of sign in/sign outs on Senior Skip Day
  • Local scribes struggle to maintain business throughout Spring Break
  • New Trier Social Worker Assigns Homework
  • Midnight train’s journey abruptly stops after hitting streetlights, people
  • Safe and Sound: Winnetka Campus Safely Evacuated from Dangerous Popcorn Machine
  • Gambling Club Runs out of Funding, takes out loans from DECA
  • Local students shine at Turnabout, stun crowds with The Metamorphosis theme

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

All content by Shirley X
9 things I Love About Sigmund Freud 

9 things I Love About Sigmund Freud 

Shirley X and Tyler W April 5, 2023

The Oedipus Complex: Something about it is just so quaint. It also upholds wholesome family values. His glasses: Blindness is an affliction that appeals to me. His beard: Its luscious...

Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Human Hamster Wheels, Sweatshops Among Changes to Kinetic Wellness Curriculum

Caleb S and Shirley X May 24, 2022

Earlier this week, District Head of State Donovan McMaphin announced the implementation of a revamped Kinetic Wellness curriculum. “The new Kinetic Wellness will not only offer improved opportunities...

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