• 94-Years-Young Substitute Teacher Tunes to HDMI-3 on First Try!
  • Volcano Erupts Beneath School; Administrators Recommend Leaving Home Earlier
  • Lincoln’s Final Letters Reveal Wishes for Big Big Big Chair
  • Scientists Terrified to Discover Astrology Fake
  • Honesty No Longer Best Policy
  • Cooking Classes Will No Longer Be Taught By Eminem’s Mom
  • Women’s Construction Club Breaks Glass Ceiling in Major Sledgehammer Accident
Avery S

Avery S, Professional obsessor and critic of amateur (i.e. all) fanfiction

Avery is not the first mutant to attend New Trier, but she is the first one who gets nauseous at the sight of chalkboards. In her free time she attempts to be Spider-Man while trying to overcome her fear of spiders. She is famous for regretting taking summer school, eating anything with curry, and giving unsolicited movie opinions to strangers. Her special skills include ruining pasta and having no plans on a Friday night. Avery’s dream is to wake up in a nursing home with no relatives. Please note to not discuss any topics with her as she will get very aggressive in her opinions.

All content by Avery Sturm
11 Things You Can do to Ensure a Perfect GPA*

11 Things You Can do to Ensure a Perfect GPA*

Avery Sturm November 1, 2021

Like many students during this time of Covid, you've been struggling to keep that GPA up. Our Trevian team has compiled ten handy tips to get you those perfect grades. Don't go to class. Ever. Binge...

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Avery Sturm