Top 10 Dangers at New Trier
Because safety is our middle name! (Our dad lost a bet in college.)
- Bees
- Running on the third floor balconies in the new building after they wax the floors and falling a la Emperor Palpatine
- Hostage situations due to teachers demanding upgraded coffeemakers
- Dissected in an AP biology mix-up
- Stress-induced heart attacks from the pressure of showing up to Early Bird yoga
- Dividing by zero
- Hit in the neck by robotics club drone
- Hyper-realistic baking soda volcano mishap
- Pepper sprayed during FBI raid of Consumer Ed
- English teacher gets too invested in a reenactment of 127 Hours
About the Contributors
Eli Trokenheim, fish food taste tester, occasional writer
Eli graduated from the Omega One school of Fish Flakes in 1843 with a speciality in tropical freshwater food. He's won the "most medium sized pumpkin"...
Annie von Dohlen, Writer Emeritus
Author of the smash hit Buzzfeed article "tell us your social security number and we'll tell you what mistake you're making with bacon", brief tenant of...
