• “Devious Licks” peaks with students stealing any respect the school administrators had for them
  • Student feels more stressed after wasting time meditating to reduce stress
  • Administrator assigned to observe whether 85 minute periods are too long falls asleep during class lecture
  • New Trier improves diversity by rounding percentages
  • English class reading readings on how to write rereads to write right
  • Tornado Chaser finally catches up
  • How to save money on Melatonin by crying yourself to sleep instead

Near True News Staff

The Near True News Staff is an autonomous collective dedicated to researching, composing, and communicating the hard-hitting stories that impact students of New Trier.  All articles, lists, opinions, critiques, reviews, observations, and musings are generated by a hive mind of writers, artists, and editors employed by the Near True News.  The Near True News Staff dedicates itself to being a unilateral voice, one that speaks stridently, confidently, and ignorantly on the issues of today.  The Near True News Staff will gladly pretend to consider your feedback before being distracted by something else.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Near True News Staff