ARIES (March 21-April 19): Joining the hacky sack circle in your free period will consequentially lead to the destruction of your ACL, MCL, Achilles, Meniscus, and funny bone.  But you also will meet...

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You, as many others have, will fall into the ‘AP Environmental Science takes no effort’ trap, forgetting that you have never even taken a level 4 before. TAURUS (April...

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your preparation for End of Semester Experiences will yield results deemed “uniquely substandard” by school administrators. TAURUS (April 20-May 20):Due to plagiarism...

I’ll really miss the people and the unique community that makes New Trier truly special; I will always look back on the camaraderie I experienced with the few other survivors of my sophomore year English...

Due to the lack of prominent holidays occurring during the month of March, the school has decided to observe all lesser-known holidays occuring on a chosen day. For March 19th, the day elected by the school...

“Throw them in the creek to see if they float. Like witches. If they float, they are unfit for a teaching career, and if they sink, they are at the bottom of the creek.” –Robert J. Oxford, Hat...

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In a cruel twist of fate, Trevius Maximus will find out that you never voted in the ABC7 Friday Flyover poll, resulting in ridicule and mockery.. TAURUS (April 20-May 20):...

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Your consumer teacher will warn you that inflation won’t raise your GPA TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The book store worker will argue with you; you will leave crying GEMINI...

The History: The Niagara Falls power plant, also known as the Edward Dean Adams Power Plant, is a historic hydroelectric power station that began operation in 1896. It was the first large-scale, alternating...

George Washington and Aristotle.   You heard that right, the dynamic duo is gone. They were both found dead together, swaddled in each other’s arms after a helicopter accident. Napoleon Bonaparte. ...

HOROSCOPES  ARIES (March 21-April 19) You stand, triumphant, over a battered body. You’ve won the desperate grapple for the construction paper cutout of Trevius Maximus, soon to be brought to...

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Don't catch feelings. They won't catch you.   TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Give into peer pressure. Do it. DO IT!   GEMINI (May 21-June 20) You're not...

ARIES (March 21-April 19) You will try a yoga class only to find that you are not flexible enough to start becoming flexible.   TAURUS (April 20-May 20) After watching 20 minutes of a...

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Sometimes, courage in the face of extreme improbability of success is stupidity. Please, calm down.   TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Beware of that which proclaims...

1. "Yummy" by Justin Bieber 2. 8,222,756 3. Seventy-one (Thanks, mom) 4. MMDCCCLXXXVIII 5. Number 4 (Say it out loud. Get it?) 6. 55 (obviously…) 7. pi(e) 8. 773-202-LUNA (For endorsement purposes) 15....

Thought Thinking Paint Watching Handbook reading and analysis DMV simulator Quiet Time Non-gender specific standing Bipartisan debate Snack Bar: Gluten Free Rice and Diet Water ...