• March 5School reprimands: “the baggage claim in the Scrounge is exclusively for disembarking airline passengers, not student use”
  • March 5Viola declared the most sat-on instrument of 2021
  • March 5Class of 2024 kidnapped and set adrift on Lake Michigan “to prepare them for the true New Trier experience”
  • March 5Admin whistleblower on remote learning: “It’s just because we ran out of cafeteria food”
  • March 5‘No taxation without caffeination’ campaign highlights campus inequalities
  • March 5Applied Arts stops pretending they want learning tools, just asks for bouncy balls and some Cheetos

Near True News Staff

The Near True News Staff is an autonomous collective dedicated to researching, composing, and communicating the hard-hitting stories that impact students of New Trier.  All articles, lists, opinions, critiques, reviews, observations, and musings are generated by a hive mind of writers, artists, and editors employed by the Near True News.  The Near True News Staff dedicates itself to being a unilateral voice, one that speaks stridently, confidently, and ignorantly on the issues of today.  The Near True News Staff will gladly pretend to consider your feedback before being distracted by something else.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Near True News Staff