• Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
  • Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
  • Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
  • Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation

Near True News Staff

The Near True News Staff is an autonomous collective dedicated to researching, composing, and communicating the hard-hitting stories that impact students of New Trier.  All articles, lists, opinions, critiques, reviews, observations, and musings are generated by a hive mind of writers, artists, and editors employed by the Near True News.  The Near True News Staff dedicates itself to being a unilateral voice, one that speaks stridently, confidently, and ignorantly on the issues of today.  The Near True News Staff will gladly pretend to consider your feedback before being distracted by something else.

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The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
Near True News Staff