Scrounge chairs auctioned off for $650,000,000
Tap dancing flash mob tramples students; Advisery discussions ensue
Oil discovered on New Gym excavation site; land sold to ExxonMobil
Record-low commencement attendance as seniors PX from graduation
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The Near True News
The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier
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Top 7 Graduation Walks
Nicolle B, Co-Editor
and
Eli T, Co-Editor
May 17, 2023
The Stationary Rollercoaster
April 5, 2023
The Chairopractor
April 5, 2023
The StairMaster
April 5, 2023
The Gumdrops
March 22, 2023
Top New Trier Alumni Career Paths
Nicolle Bokiess
and
Riley Kramer
November 2, 2021
Most Deep– “Böök”
October 26, 2020
Least Creative–”The Sentiment of Defecation”
October 26, 2020
Worst Visual Offence–“This is Your Body on the Devil’s Grass”
October 26, 2020
Worst Use of Geometry–“Melted Legos”
October 26, 2020
Lost iPad
October 26, 2020
Horoscopes: Spring 2016
May 16, 2016
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