The scrounge is crowded with students, all eagerly awaiting the grand re-opening of the bookstore. It is quite possibly the only time in New Trier history that students have been excited to buy books....

Last week, the New Trier Administration sent out an email to explain the protocol that would be followed in the event of “light rain.” The email was so verbose and detailed that it created some unintended...

“Recently I’ve been wearing women’s clothes. I feel like this is the best way to promote women subtly. Some of my favorite articles of women’s clothing to wear are skirts and dresses. They make...

In an effort to reduce outfit creativity, the school has created a new uniform and surprisingly harsh punishments. Until now, students have donned a myriad of black Align Lululemon leggings, Aritzia SuperPuff...

After the past few years of abominably bad attendance, New Trier leadership decided to up the ante with a new, very strict attendance policy. To enforce this new policy, the school created and published...

The Winnetka campus pool is beloved by every single member of the New Trier community, but recent archeological discoveries have suggested that it could hold a far grander significance. Just last year,...

After New Trier’s recent renovations, efforts have been made to reduce anxiety by using versatile seating. This is supposedly conducive for meeting in groups and is meant to be comfortable, yet sleek....

This past week, in an unprecedented move, Google Translate has launched a lawsuit against the Spanish teachers of New Trier and the competitor company Word Reference for reported defamation of their brand.  Anyone...

The following letter has been sent to The Near True News by a fellow student with the purpose of inspiring other students to become conscientious objectors to schooling. To the students of this fine...

This review was written by the dining critic for Cuisine Quarterly, who remains anonymous to maintain her ability to conduct undercover investigations. It was reprinted without Cuisine Quarterly’s permission....

Over the summer of 2021, the New Trier Warehouse District quietly arose in the fields surrounding the Northfield Campus.  Despite numerous concerns about the surreptitious construction of a logistics...

Due to a rise in support to “restore the plains” in the local community, New Trier administration has brought 58 herds of bison to the school in order to return to the roots of America’s landscape.  However,...

New Drop Off Procedures At The Northfield Campus In order to alleviate traffic backups during construction, students may soon be expected to roll out of their moving cars when being dropped off. Crossing...

Science Olympiad: This club is exclusively for jocks. Between the electronic balances and the studying, only true athletes will be able to keep up. If you like chest bumping, getting concussions, and squirting...