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The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

The Satirical Student Newspaper of New Trier

The Near True News

All content by Avery S
10 Hottest Couples at NT!

10 Hottest Couples at NT!

Avery S and Elizabeth C February 15, 2023

Principal Dawn McMaffin and his collectible troll figurines The unaffectionate couple at the bottom of the staircase Trevius Maximus and Willie Wildkit Gates the Gym and Mylie...

Chem-Men Cause Chemical Chaos!

Chem-Men Cause Chemical Chaos!

Avery S May 31, 2022

Flasks flung furiously across the floor. Goggles ignored in drawers. Broken beakers beaten in sinks.   New Trier spends approximately a week teaching about safety in the lab, with additional focus continuing...

Death by Ignorance

Death by Ignorance

Avery S May 24, 2022

As the school days drag on and the clocks seem unwilling to move, students often ask themselves: Why do I need to know this? When will I ever use this? Is this worth sleep deprivation? Sadly, these tired...

Sporps Reporps!

Sporps Reporps!

Avery S May 10, 2022
Rugby team is still waiting on the sidelines for the football game to end.
5 New Classes that Fulfill Your Graduation Requirements

5 New Classes that Fulfill Your Graduation Requirements

Avery S April 5, 2022

New Trier requires too much from its students. Students are forced to choose between graduating or enjoying what they learn? They’ve had enough. After putting pressure on the Board of Education, students...

10 Hottest New Trier Couples

10 Hottest New Trier Couples

Avery S and Elizabeth C April 5, 2022

The couple at the bottom of staircase that shows no affection Trevius Maximus and Willie the Wildkit Principle Don McC’maffin and his troll collection Roo Roo the school Roomba and Sally...

How to Diagnose Covid at Home

How to Diagnose Covid at Home

Avery S and Ben S January 25, 2022

COVID-19 has now been around for almost two years and people still don't seem to understand what it is. In this list we would like to address Covid symptoms and causes, so everyday Americans can skip the...

New Trier Yelp Reviews

New Trier Yelp Reviews

Avery S November 2, 2021

New Trier has been buzzing with student opinions as a new survey is passed around. Along with that New Trier has also been desperately trying to recruit new students for the next school year. In order...

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